Steven Spielberg resigns from chinas olympics, not to promote american fascism Khalid sheik mohammed on trial for being captured and confessing to stuff In the uk Sharia law row after voodo priests mumbo jumbo gibberings Hello economic slave peasants, welcome to the fkn newz, Ive got the funk - here are tonights headlies

Gold for China and america in New Olympic events of hypocrisy and murder Silver for Georgian president Saak'ashvili in election rigging pentathlon bronze for gordon brown tanning himself with our heroes in helmund province Hello innocent bystanders welcome to the fuckin news , im stable at room temperature here are tonights headlies

POT CALLS KETTLE BLACK AS OLYMPIC TORCHURE JOURNEY BEGINSrnALL HUMANS MUST DIE SAYs NOT MAD SCIENTISTS AND INSECT LEADERSrnIRAQI ARMY MUST KILL IRAQI PEOPLE SAY BRITISH TROOPS HIDING IN BASRA